Filling in the Pieces

It's been too long since I last wrote. I know this because there is an ache inside of me craving to put pen to paper, words to screen. 

I'm in a season of life, like everyone on the planet, where time passes by and it feels as though nothing has changed and yet everything has changed. After meeting up with friends I haven't seen in a while they tend to ask, "so what's new?" and I have nothing to say. While that's partly true, it's never entirely true. Where my life may sometimes lack visible, tangible or countable changes, There is always something going on inside of me. In the depths of my soul God is working things out, slowly bringing me into new chapters of life. As an introvert I am always thinking. I've been told that people are either past or  future minded, always living in one or the other state. I know for a FACT I am of the future minded thinkers, always dreaming of the future and what's to come. What will my life be like in 5 years? When will I have a family? When and where will I move? What will I do for work? Where will I travel? WHAT IS GOD'S PLAN FOR MY LIFE?

That last question. That one is the one ever present question that just never seems to get answered or go away. I'm realizing  however that I am IN God's plan. I am living it right now. If only I could be more present in that reality. Always a work in progress...

I'm truly enjoying life though. For once in a long while I can say I am genuinely happy. Things are not perfect, but overall I am in a good, healthy place. I feel normal! I'm choosing to believe that I am healed of depression. Healed of anxiety. Healed of my sleep issues. The first two I see the results, the last one I believe even though I don't see it. God is at work and not finished. The kinks are being worked out...the food, the sleep, the schedule. I'm figuring out what makes me happiest and how to have more of that in my life. My goal for 2013 was to just be happy. At the start if this year all I wanted wasting be filled with joy and live a happy life. Well, it's only July and I've succeeded this far! Who needs weight loss goals and bucket list items to cross off when you can just be happy!? After all, is t that the whole point of New Year's Resolutions? To do things that will make you happy? Well I say just cut to the chase then...just be happy! I know, easier said than done, but like my mom says, sometimes you just have to just have to decide on something and let God fill in the pieces! 

Speaking of which, I decided to contact someone at my church about being interested in the Kenya trip for November. So many things brought me to that point, enough that the reasons alone are worth another post entirely. As of now, I don't know if I am approved or able to go, but I feel as though I've taken the first step and now it's time for God to fill in the pieces if that is his desire for my life. Only time will tell, but at least the clock is ticking. 

Allison Elizabeth