Happiness vs. Joy

This morning I sat in a pseudo-staff meeting. I say "pseudo" because when working at a church your staff meetings tend to be a lethal combination of information, conversation, church service and spiritual boot camp all rolled into a nice little package that usually leaves you with more questions than you have answers.

One of the first things brought up in the meeting was "what's the difference between happiness and joy?". Numerous people offered their best answers, some taking a shot in the dark at what the real answer might be. I'm not sure if we landed on an official answer (this happens a lot in such meetings also), but the different answers I heard did get me thinking.

Happiness is circumstantial, joy is permanent.
Happiness is short-term, joy is long-term.
Happiness comes from outside circumstances, joy come from within.
Happiness is in the moment, joy is eternal.

These were some of the key responses that stood out to me. The running theme being that happiness is good, but joy is better.

My goal in 2013, my New Year's Resolution so to speak, was and still is to be happy this year. That's it. Simple enough in my mind. In year's past I've chosen a word or verse to live by, or even challenged myself with the typical watch-more-news, read-more, lose-weight type of resolutions that usually only stick for a few weeks at best. After a few crappy years where none of that seemed to work, I decided it was best to put aside the change-me, fix-me, grow-me, strengthen-me, build-more-character mottos of my former self aside. I decided it was time to just be happy.

I honestly don't know exactly what I've done to embrace this mentality, but we're 3 months in and I can actually see growth. For once in a long while my good days outnumber the bad and when friends text to ask how I am doing I can finally respond honestly with "good!" instead of fighting myself not to list off every complaint, frustration, and anxiety I feel.

What I am learning is that time heals. My mom always says that "nothing good or bad lasts forever" and it couldn't be more true. Some things take longer than others, but through both seasons there is potential for growth.

So while some may see happiness as the short-changed version of joy, I see it as a step towards joy. For someone who is wildly depressed, a happy day is no more realistic than unicorns dancing on the moon. I've been there. But after more tears than I can measure and enough hurt to fill the ocean, I see change. Eventually the happy days, spread too far apart, begin to inch closer and closer together until they merge and become one. Eventually those happy days bring light into the darkness and turn into joy. Happy days are like a flashlight in a dark room. They may not light up the whole room, but at least you can find the light switch.

My happy days are finally starting to merge and I am thankful. So very thankful.

Allison Elizabeth