Love Just

A lot can change in a year. When I think back of this time last year, I was a mess and an absolute disaster. My mind was suppressed by the weight of the world and I could cry at the drop of a hat. Nothing was good. Everything was overwhelming. And in every moment of every day it felt like there was no way out.

People said, "this will change," or "it won't be like this forever." I wanted to believe them but when your pillow is wet with tears and your heart feels like it's been shredded into a million pieces, it's hard to imagine a life any different.

But here I am, a year later, and it is different. The things I never thought would change have. And some of the things I've dreamt of for years have finally come to fruition.

I told God a long time ago that I was done building character. After a lifetime of "character building" I felt like I had enough. Already it felt like I had more character than anyone in my immediate life. I figured if everyone else can get through life with minimal character building, then I could too.

God had different plans though. He still has a different plan for my life. I am through one of the most painful seasons of my life and finally on the other side, but I know there will be more. I know God still wants to teach and train and make me more like him. In my human nature and surplus of sin the only way to make that happen is by going through situations that build character and bring wisdom.

As the saying goes, "what goes around, comes around," life has a way of working itself out. Like I said, the things I never imagined actually happening have started happening, and it gives me hope for what's to come and the great plan God has for me.

I can't help but want to share this with others. I want to walk through life with people and give them hope when they are hopeless, cry when they cry, listen when they complain, and point it all back to Jesus. Not all just in my words, but in my actions and ability to love without reserve or judgement.

Like the title of this blog, I want to love just. Not in the ways I think are right or what the world tells me is normal. My God is just. He loves just. And I want to love just like him. I am learning how to do that. It's a learning curve, and one I will always be on, but in time I pray that I would love the way he loves my imperfect, cold, dark heart.

Here's to the story of Easter, the day when Jesus showed the ultimate action of love. No action I ever take will ever compare to what he did that day. Today I am thankful for the love, patience, and plan he has for me.

Thank you. 

Allison Elizabeth